Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
