God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
