She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
