ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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