Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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