why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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