I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
