Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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