you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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