I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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