then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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