All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
