I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
