yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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