with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
