I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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