They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
