Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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