he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
