I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
