the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
