we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
