thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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