i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am mentally ready for anal.
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