So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
