I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
