my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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