I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Everyone says I win the strip club
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
