You can't motorboat a personality
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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