I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize