I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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