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• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  yup.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed

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• (631): View more from New York

  I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start

  (585): View more from New York

  Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  whats she drawing them with?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  eyeliner

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  no that's ok

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• (310): View more from California

  I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”

  (310): View more from California

  My divorce is turning into a porn script

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!

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