Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
