Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
where are my eyebrows?
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