I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
