are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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