we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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