let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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