Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
