I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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