Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Mom said you looked used
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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