yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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