I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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