Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
