I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
