Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
