Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
