Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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(303): View more from Colorado

I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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(910): View more from North Carolina

It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis

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(630): View more from Illinois

youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...

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