I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
