omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
