i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
