she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
