I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
