Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
