he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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