I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize