Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
