I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
