Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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