Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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