Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize