margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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