you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
