Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize